Life of Thranduil
by Overlord Rousdower
Summary: The burdens of a king are many... But the burdens of the Elvenking are innumerable. A collection of these multiple trials and tribulations of the Elvenking, Thranduil.
1. Part One: Chapter One

**Part One~ The Theft**

**Chapter One~ In Which A Precious Thing is Stolen and Thranduil Tugs His Hair**

It was a lovely day in the kingdom of the Greenwood.

That is… until the voice of that very kingdom's ruler echoed through the halls of his extensive palace, an unmistakable coloring of fury in it.

"LEGOLAAAAAAS!"

Thranduil was currently standing in the middle of his bedroom, clutching his hair and looking around frantically.

"LEGOLAAAAAASSSS!" he hollered again, before searching through the drawers of his bedside tables. Unable to find what he was searching so desperately for, Thranduil resumed the clutching of his hair (something he only did when very distraught) and began pacing.

"Who would do this… I am a king… who would be foolish enough to steal from the king?" Thranduil muttered to himself. With a noise of desperation, he released his hair and began stripping the sheets off of his bed.

With an almighty bang, Legolas burst through the doors, his bow pointing wildly into every corner of the room, before he finally took in the sight of his father, and lowered his weapon.

"…" Was all Legolas could muster at the sight of the distraught Thranduil, clad in a trailing baby-blue bathrobe, tugging on his hair, and looking near close to tears.

When the Elvenking caught sight of his son, he immediately plastered on a look of cold indifference, releasing his hair, and smoothing out his robe.

"Legolas… there had been a theft."

Legolas stared at his father, unable to find any words.

"Though I am unsure as to who on _Arda _would steal from _me._" Thranduil now looked every inch the vengeful king, back straight with indignation, and eyes sparking with outrage.

"Father… may I ask what has been taken?"

Thranduil whipped around and placed his hands majestically behind his back.

"My crown."

"…"

Thranduil turned to send a cold glare at Legolas. "Well?"

"…Which one?"

Thranduil resisted the ever growing urge to facepalm, and glared menacingly down at his oh-so-ignorant son.

"The bronze one."

"…Which bronze one?" Legolas queried.

"The one with the emeralds," Thranduil enlightened.

"…The emeralds shaped like leaves?"

Thranduil gave a growl of frustration. "No no! Not that one! The one that had the three emeralds on the front."

A look of recognition washed over Legolas and he nodded his head. "Ohhhhh, THAT one. I'm sorry ada, you just have _so_ many crowns…"

Thranduil shot a withering glare at his son, and turned majestically around, one more, placing his hands behind his back, and sticking his nose in the air.

"I want it returned to me by nightfall!" he demanded imperiously.

Legolas shrugged. "Very well, father."

As soon as the door shut behind Legolas, Thranduil resumed the clutching of his hair (which somehow, despite all of the clutching, still remained fabulous) and whimpered, "My crown…. my _sixth_ favorite crown…"

**TBC**

**A/N Ok ok ok… Yes yes I know.. "But Rousdower, you have so many stories that need updated!" Yeah, well, here's another one… }:(**

**I was inspired by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey's awesome 'Life of Lindir', (which I highly recommend) and she encouraged me with this, so you can thank her… *scowls***


	2. Part One: Chapter Two

**Part One~ The Theft**

**Chapter Two~ In Which Thranduil Is Lounging Tensely and Legolas is Slightly Dense**

Thranduil had managed to pull himself together, after his earlier panic episode, and now lounged tensely on his throne.

One may wonder how that is possible, so I shall endeavor to explain it: To lounge in a tense position, or, to fake an air of nonchalantness.

Thranduil was brooding as he tensely lounged, for the location of his missing crown had not yet been discovered. His outrage knew no bounds. His elvish ears picking up the unique tread of his only son's boots, Thranduil's head snapped up, a hope welling up inside of him.

Jogging up the bridge and bowing before his illustrious father, Legolas began; "Father, I have news."

Thranduil's staff, which he held tensely in his left hand (which was masquerading as nonchalant), came down with an echoing _click_.

"What news is this?" Thranduil drawled, his voice a mask of indifference.

"Our best tracker has informed me that your crown does not have the ability to wander off on it's own."

Thranduil's left eye twitched.

Legolas cowered.

"Legolas… please tell me that this is one of your heinous ideas of a joke?"

Legolas shook his head furiously. It briefly crossed his mind that maybe he should not have done that, when Thranduil's left I gave a much more obvious twitch and his staff came down with a _boom._

_"__Please_ tell me something I _don't_ know!" Thranduil said, his facade of indifference slipping slowly, yet surely, away. "You speak of my crown as if it is a dog, or a wild beast! Legolas…" Thranduil rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It does not have a mind of it's own. It must have been _taken_."

Legolas' mouth formed an 'o' and Thranduil rolled his eyes and sighed. "So this is what you have been doing for the past two hours?"

Legolas hesitantly nodded.

Thranduil suddenly stood up, and in a majestic swirling of robes, strode down the steps of the dais. He came to a halt in front of his son, and slowly, a scowl formed on his face.

"Have the servants searched."

"Yes father," Legolas said meekly.

Thranduil tossed his hair over his shoulder, as somehow it had crept forward in his tense lounging. "I am going to go attend to some business. I expect a report in an hour. Don't," Thranduil stuck his finger in Legolas' face, "Forget you have until tonight."

With that, Thranduil once more swirled his robes majestically, and strode out of the throne room, his staff clicking as he went.

Making his way across the bridge, down several stairways, and around several turns, Thranduil arrived at the scene of the crime. Shuddering slightly, Thranduil pushed open the doors of his room and walked in, striding to his vanity.

Sitting down in the stool, Thranduil gazed into the mirror. Finally, after a sigh, he removed his crown (gold, with amethysts in the shape of flowers, classified as ninth favorite) picked his mithril brush up and began running it through his hair.

"I could have sworn I raised that boy to be intelligent," he muttered to himself. "I mean really," he began to imitate Legolas' voice, "'Your crown does not have the ability to wander off on it's own' NO? I never would have guessed!" Thranduil sneered at himself, careful not to brush to vigorously, as that would create much unwanted static.

"It must be that Silvan elf. What's her name…" he scoffed. "_Tauriel._ I always knew she was a bad influence." Here Thranduil tossed his brush upon the vanity and gazed upon his reflection. Scowling, at a stray hair, he picked it up and vigorously tucked it in with the rest. Seemingly satisfied, he carefully placed his crown upon his brow and rose once more.

"Of course, he did go to Imladris recently. That sneaky Elrond and his brood aren't to be trusted either…" Thranduil snorted and majestically turned on his heel.

Suddenly, a loud knocking interrupted his musings.

"My lord, Prince Legolas has urgent news for you."

Thranduil gave the door an imperious glare. "He isn't babbling about crowns walking off on their own again, is he?

"Um… why…?"

Thranduil gave a long, drawn out sigh. "Never mind. Inform him I shall be their shortly."

There was a scuffling noise and then silence.

"If it isn't an intelligent statement, I'm disowning him," Thranduil muttered as he strode over to the door.

**A/N O_O**

**What is this!?**

**Many readers? Many reviewers? I am shocked! 15 reviews?! O_O**

**Thank you to-**

**KkGgINoU- **Thank you! :) Yeah… kinda. He's a bit of a drama queen no?

**Sassiebone**\- -_- Thank you. Now tell me… Am I as big a pushover as Lindir :D

**Pip the Dark Lord of All**\- Thank you! :D

**Montara**\- XD Thanks hahaha!

**Wunderkind4006- **Thanks! O.O That's kinda creepy actually… but yeah LOL Poor Leggy… Naw. Thank you!

**Guest- **Thanks!

**wenduo-** Oh but that is the question is it not? Haha, I'm pretty sure Elrond only has five tops XD

**Wicked R-** xD

**Lily Lindsy-Aubrey**\- You're welcome! XD Thanks for reviewing… I think the bathrobe was a nice touch personally…

**steelgray**\- Maybe… maybe not. Thank you so much!

**Sixty-four K**\- Oh yes.. he is heartbroken… If, say, his second favorite crown got stolen, he might even fade XD

**aitchtee**\- Haha thanks!

**ccgaylord**\- Thanks :D

**loopid- **Glad you like it XD

**and my favoriters and followers.**

**Hopefully I shall get the next chapter up soon! **

**In the mean time, what did you think? :D**

**Rousdower out_**


	3. Part One: Chapter Three

**Part One- The Theft**

**Chapter Three- In Which the Crown is Found but the Culprit is Not **

"Father, I have had the servants searched, and there has been no sign of your crown," Legolas said, looking vaguely to the ceiling. Thranduil huffed.

"Somebody has taken it… Who would have done so?" Thranduil began pacing. The servants are the only one with access to my quarters, none of my councilors would dare even think of doing something like this, the guards wouldn't either…"

"Ada… do you think maybe you could have just.. I don't know… misplaced it?" Legolas ventured.

Thranduil froze and slowly turned to Legolas. "I don't _misplace_ things."

Legolas ducked his head down, for he knew better than to argue with his father. That would only lead to terrible things, and perhaps, Solitary Confinement… Legolas shuddered at the thought alone.

"Are you sure you didn't… overlook it, or something?" Legolas ventured again.

Thranduil sneered. "I don't _overlook_."

Legolas shuffled his feet and looked around. "Maybe a spider stole it?"

Thranduil scoffed. "Really Legolas? A spider?"

Legolas looked down, feeling rather ashamed of himself.

Suddenly a guard ran into the throne room. "My lord!"

Thranduil looked to him and flicked his hand. The guard bowed hastily and said, "Tarukka is at the gates."

Thranduil raised an eyebrow. "Already? He should not have returned for at least another week…" Turning away from Legolas, he began the dull trek towards the gates of his palace.

He turned over in his mind, the possibility of having misplaced or overlooked his crown, but that was inconceivable… wasn't it? Well… there was that one time he accidentally left Legolas in the wine cellar. His poor son had been distraught…

Shaking his head, Thranduil came to a stop at the gates and carelessly gestured the guards away, before moving through them towards the bridge. There at the end, was his beloved elk- Tarukka.

Smiling a little, Thranduil came to a stop in front of his friend.

"Tarukka, what brings you here?"

The elk snorted.

Thranduil's eyes shifted to the antlers of the ancient elk and he barely restrained himself from facepalming.

There, hanging on the right antler of Tarukka the elk, was his missing crown.

Thranduil thought very hard about how that got there.

And then suddenly he remembered…

***_cue flashback_**_*_

**_TBC_**

**A/N- Yeah yeah… that was short AND there was a cliffie… not sorry ^_^**

**Haha… Hahahahah….**

**I feel really powerful. Anyways.**

**WOW I cannot believe the reception I am getting here! *points all over for no reason***

**I also had one question- Is there anything in particular you guys would like to see here? Feel free to drop any suggestions! I like ideas! (no guarantee you'll see yours here though… Eheheheh) I have lots of my own, but who knows what you guys could come up with!**

**Thank you to-**

**Lily Lindsey-Aubrey- Mmmm no I don't think so… Aw man thanks xD That's how I try to write my stuff :) Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't… Thanks again!**

**Wunderkind4006- LOL yeah, I was pretty proud of myself for that one xD… Hahaha! No, I meant that it was creepy how similar to Thrandy you are xD WOOT. PARTAY. **

**TemariFire- Probably :D**

**Emma Gilthoniel- Thank you and you are welcome! :D**

**steelgray- Yeah. Yeah he is. Thanks!**

**Pip the Dark Lord of All- He may have Heheheheh.. I wouldn't put it past him… LOL**

**Sixty-four K- Go ahead! Yeah.. or he could be purposefully difficult… xD Or I could just be making him slow. Heheheh. Thanks!**

**loopid- Thank you! **

**wenduo- LOL yeah… O_O I know right?**

**ccgaylord- Neither do I… LOL thanks! I saw it and was like *click* PARFECT.**

**Optymistka- LOL maybe if she was a servant, but since she's Captain of the Guard, I don't think that would happen xD**

**BlueberryMuffins76 - LOL thanks! yeah, I'm a bit of a Thrandy fanatic too…Glad to have made you giggle! Thanks for the review!**

**OneSizeFitsAll- LOL that's ok! Thanks xD **

**lolitazilla- xD Sparklybritches… I like that one! *snicker***

**Ok, now that I have answered the extensive reviews *inner fangirl cheer* I leave you to ponder what happens in the flashback until I decide to update xD**

**Rousdower out_**


	4. Part One: Chapter Four

**Part One~ The Theft**

**Chapter Four~ In Which We Discover What Exactly Happened and Legolas is Happy to be Off the Hook**

** Warning- There is much drunkenness and those inebriated are not to be held responsible for their actions in any way. They were very out of it.**

**_Two Days Ago_**

It had all started at the feast.

Not just any old feast… no… this was a special feast. It was in honor of… honor… of… Look at that. Thranduil had quite forgotten what they were celebrating, only that there was wine, and music, and wine, and dancing, and wine, and food, and… wine. Don't forget the wine.

Never forget the wine.

Anyway…

Thranduil had been drinking his seventy-second glass of wine, when a rather prominent noble had staggered up to him, giggling uncontrollably.

"My liege, I beg of you," the elf bowed. "Dance with me!" he said, with a flourish of his hand. Thranduil stared at the elf in disbelief, before saying with good nature, "Ah, I think not Wilin, but I do thank you for the offer. Run along." Thranduil flicked his hand and Wilin giggled a little before wandering away.

The fact that the Elvenking's head was muddled by the strong (yet delicious) wine was the only reason the lesser elf hadn't gotten tossed into the dungeon and denied food and water for five days straight.

Eventually, Thranduil decided that he was a few degrees too warm, and found that his head was in need of fresh air. Rising as gracefully as his inebriated state allowed, he strode (mayhaps more of stumbled) out of the clearing in which they were feasting.

Oh… was that not mentioned? This feast, was taking place in the Elvenking's magnificent forest, out in the open air… there were even tiny little lanterns, which Thranduil now paused in his striding (stumbling) and stared at, smiling for no particular reason. The voice of his son managed to snap him out of his inebriated lamp-trance and he hid behind a tree, because he didn't want to face a drunk Legolas.

You see, drunk Legolas tended to get rather…

What is the word?

Ah…

Angsty.

Yes. When drunk, Legolas became full of horrible angst and would corner the nearest victim (only if he couldn't find his father) and tell sob story after sob story, tears oftentimes dripping down his face. It was worse if he actually _did_ find his father, because then he would start with the;

"You don't love me!"

"Why do you always put me in Solitary Confinement?"

"You never pay attention to me anymore!"

Recollecting all those various encounters, Thranduil shuddered at the mere _thought _of drunk Legolas, and crept further into the forest. Eventually he was wandering in a bit of a wine hazed daze, occasionally slurping out of the bottle of wine he had snagged from a passing waiter. Quite suddenly, he ran into a furry something with a thump and being unbalanced and wine fogged as he was, fell backwards onto his behind.

Looking up confusedly, he found himself staring into the warm brown eyes of his best friend.

Now before we explore who this best friend is, we should probably explore what drunk Thranduil is like.

He is both like and unlike Legolas. Or should we say, Legolas is a little like Thranduil? Or both… Anyways;

It really depends on the mood he was in when he got drunk. He has a specific pattern, you see. If he was in a good mood when he became inebriated, he would grow very… irritable. When he was in a bad mood, the wine inevitably cheered him up. If he was in a _very _good mood, the wine unfortunately made him rather like his son, angsty and teary. If he was in an already angsty mood and drank wine, he became giddy and slightly alarmingly so.

That may or may not be confusing, but as many are quite aware of, one should never attempt to understand Thranduil Orpherion.

Now, back to the tale.

Thranduil (which we shall note was slightly angsty before he had gotten drunk) stared into the warm brown eyes of his best friend and lifted his wine bottle in a salute. "What ho, Tarukka!"

The elk stared exasperatedly down at the Elvenking and knowing what came next (this was most definitely not the first time), tiredly lowered his great, antlered head down so that Thranduil would be able to hoist himself back to his feet. Of course Tarukka had to keep his head down so that the great Elvenking wouldn't keel over again.

Thranduil, meanwhile, was snickering to himself as he practically hung off of Tarukka's antlers, swigging from his bottle and talking to himself and occasionally the elk.

"I managed to escape Legolas by this much!" Thranduil held two fingers of one hand up in front of the elk's face. "Not in the mood for whining!" he sang to the skies. The elk rolled his eyes and tried to hint at Thranduil maybe climbing onto his back so that he could transport the very drunk elf back to the palace.

"Huzzah!" Thranduil said randomly, gesticulating upwards with his wine bottle, sending the bright red liquid in between Tarukka's eyes. Said elk was none too pleased and shook his head vigorously, purposefully sending Thranduil back onto the ground in a giggling heap.

Tarukka hadn't seen him this bad for a good thirty or forty years. He found it fraying at his nerves. Snorting impatiently at Thranduil, who was now sprawled on his back chuckling about something or other, and spilling wine all over his light green robes, Tarukka barely restrained himself from just ditching the Elvenking and continuing onto the watering hole. But, of course, that would be impolite, so Tarukka leant his head down again and allowed Thranduil to grab hold of his antlers. This time the Elvenking swung himself, albeit lacking his usual elven grace, onto the back of the elk.

Tarukka started towards the palace at a walk, as any pace faster would cause the elf on his back to fall off, and Thranduil lounged on his back. Not just on the elk's back, but, lay on the elk's back, so that he could stare at the tree tops. One leg crossed over the other, and the bottle of wine swinging in his hand, Thranduil looked nothing like a king and he knew it.

Sitting up abruptly, Thranduil took off his crown and said, "I need a break. Maybe I should make Legolas run the kingdom for a while." He mulled this idea over and then hurriedly backtracked. "No. No. No. That would be horrible." He glanced at Tarukka's head. "Maybe you could take over, my friend. The Valar know that you are more capable than my son." Thranduil rolled his eyes. Leaning forward, he dropped his crown- bronze with three large emeralds on the front- onto the nearest part of the elk's giant rack.

He lay back in his previous position and promptly passed out, much to the exasperation of poor Tarukka, though fortunately (unfortunately) the elk had been in this situation countless times.

**_Present_**

Thranduil rubbed his forehead tiredly.

He should have known.

"I am very sorry, my friend," Thranduil muttered, leaning up to take the crown. He heard footsteps behind him and rolled his eyes.

"Ada! You have found your crown! Where was it?" Legolas exclaimed exuberantly, overwhelmed with delight at the thought of another grueling task successfully avoided.

"Tarukka had it," Thranduil said imperiously, mustering the remnants of his pride and looking every inch the Elvenking he was. "You may call of the search, Legolas."

Legolas skipped away and Thranduil groaned. He feared that his son would never mature past 300.

He turned back to the elk who was looking on rather smugly.

"Thank you for returning it. Knowing you, you could just as easily have dumped it somewhere in the forest," Thranduil said, bowing slightly to the elk who snorted and left.

"Well that was rude," Thranduil muttered, turning and striding back into the palace. He tossed the newly found crown at a nearby guard and ordered, "Have that polished and returned to my chambers."

Making his way back to the throne room, Thranduil gracefully seated himself in his throne, took up his scepter/staff, lifted his nose into the air, staring down imperiously, and promptly forgot about the whole incident.

**Finis Pars Unum**

**A/N- There we have it! End of part one. That was pretty bad… Grrrrr…**

**I feel rather bleh about this and could definitely could have come up with something better than this sorry excuse for a last chapter of a first part, but I am not feeling particularly well in the head, so blegh… *waves hands around like Jack Sparrow* Oh and sorry this took so long! Again, head problems *waves hands again***

**So what did you guys think? Do you like Wilin? I was thinking we may see him again? (if anyone is wondering, Wilin means 'airy' LOL) Would you guys be interested in that?**

**WOW GUYS THE RECEPTION FOR THIS? FORTY SOMETHING REVIEWS AND ONLY THREE CHAPTERS (well four now)? O_O**

**WAT?**

***is shocked into next month***

***comes back via time travel***

**I MEAN REALLY GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Ehem- So many reviews to answer!**

**KkGgINoU- Heck yeah. You should know I feel like either Loki, Moriarty, the Joker, or a combination of the three pretty much all the time, by now LOL. Thank you for reviewing! ^_^ Glad you liked this! Muaha…**

**TemariFire- Thank you! Now you know! What do you think? :D**

**Sixty-four K- LOL yes it does! Oh yes, we shall see much more of the elk in this story, fear not! Thank you for reviewing! **

**Nelyo- LOL I like you! Haha, YES. Legolas spent quite awhile puzzling over that new fact! Oh yay! So glad you like my version of Thrandy ^_^ I like cannon!Thrandy and the 'other' Thrandy both so yup… Hopefully you liked this? A little bit?**

**Neon Wish- AHHHH! **

**Wunderkind4006- As you can see, that was much too close to the actual thing than is comfortable… *eyes warily* #ElvenPsychicConnection **

**wenduo- Haha, how bout the mighty king got drunk XD Thanks for reviewing!**

**Lily Lindsey-Aubrey- So do I.. they are fun… Thanks for the review!**

**Guest123- BAHAHAHA DISNEY PRINCESS BHAHAHAHA. Ahem. Yeah kinda! Thanks for the review! LOL thank you, I kinda gave them a different personality than what most see *shrug* or different than what most read whatever.. LOL**

**Pip the Dark Lord of All- LOL I know right? XD **

**ccgaylord- LOL at least… Ohhhh that is a good idea, I shall keep it in mind XD**

**steelgray- Haha, he kinda misplaced it ^_^**

**Jessicaelvenprincess- #ExcellentDeduction Thanks for the review!**

**and all my followers and favoriters! You guys are awesome! *group hug***


	5. Part Two: Chapter One

**I present to you-**

**Part II- Procrastination**

**Chapter One- In Which Thranduil Is Lazy and Paperwork is Avoided**

**I hope it is to your liking.**

The Great Elvenking of Mirkwood the Great and Expansive was lounging on his throne, staring up at the ceiling and doing absolutely nothing productive whatsoever. He didn't feel like listening to his subjects- beloved as they were- whine and complain, he didn't feel like listening to Legolas whine about whatever it was he had to whine about, and most of all, he wanted to stay as far away from paperwork as he possibly could.

"My lord?"

Thranduil straightened up at lightning speed and stared warily around. It was one of his advisors. He stiffened even more. It was the advisor in charge of…

**Paperwork**.

Thranduil, after a split second of weighing risks, vaulted over the side of his throne and took refuge behind it.

"My king? Lord Thranduil?" the footsteps paused in front of the throne. Thranduil heard the councilor mutter to himself; "I could have sworn he was here a few seconds ago…"

Thranduil stretched his legs out in front of him and yawned silently.

The footsteps began again, moving back down the pathway and towards the other passageway, and Thranduil breathed a sigh of relief, edging out from behind the massive throne and in the opposite direction of the dreaded handler of paperwork.

Sneering to himself, Thranduil pondered on the various evils of paperwork. Eventually, he compiled a short list in his head made of all the downsides of the white terror (FYI not Galadriel, who is actually worse than paperwork, but not the current subject of the Elvenking's ire).

Number one- It is never-ending.

Number two- It is tedious.

Number three- It is full of things he doesn't really care about in any way whatsoever.

Number four- It is-

"Ada! There you are!"

Thranduil's face twisted into a look of regret and apprehension.

"Ada, I was wondering-" Legolas paused briefly to catch his breath (he hadn't been training as often as he should, Thranduil could tell). "Can I go to Rivendell?"

Thranduil barely restrained himself from yelling, "YES!" as loud as he could, and thought over Legolas' request. It had a pro, and it had a con. Pro- Legolas would be out of Thranduil's perfect hair. Con- Legolas would be exposed to the half-scum Elrond's psychological proddings.

Thranduil shrugged. It wasn't as if Legolas wasn't already messed up. "Very well."

Legolas jumped up and down excitedly before rushing away again.

Thranduil released a breath.

Peace.

First paperwork evaded, now his son.

"My lord!"

Thranduil's left eye twitched.

He would _not_ do any paperwork today.

He _wouldn't_.

He twirled around the corner and behind the nearest statue.

**A/N: Sup! I bring you part two ma friends… I hope you like! I am very sorry for my extended absence from my stories, but I am kinda busy… For instance I am in Michigan right now… **

**BUT.**

**The reception for this story is UNBELIEVABLE. Thank you so much guys!**

**TemariFire- Aw thank you… You can be sure we shall see more drunk Thrandy sometime soon!**

**Sixty-four K- LOL thanks! **

**Oriana5- LOL thank you! Yeah drunk Thranduil is amusing… LOL that's what I thought was most likely for Thrandy to do… Not cradle the crown in his arms like a child… It's only his sixth favorite after all!**

**steelgray- eheheheheh**

**Wunderkind4006- Thank you! ^_^**

**SparklesJustReads- Thanks! Ok good… *wipes brow* I thought that may have been a bit much.. but it isn't! *fist pump***

**Pip the Dark Lord of All- NA that wasn't random… Everytime someone mentions him I say- "Oh you mean the PARTAYKING OF SMIRKWOOD? *disco move*" Thank you so much!**

**ccgaylord- Yeah it'd be pretty bad if he was like this every time he got drunk XD**

**Lily Lindsey-Aubrey- I DID }:) Heheheh yeah that'd be freaky… Thanks!**

**Neon Wish- Yay!**

**wenduo- LOL yeah… poor elk indeed XD He wasn't too happy…Oh that's a good idea, I shall keep in mind!**

**loopid- Awesome! Thanks!**

**Montara- ehehhehheh, well it's Thranduil… he thinks everything is imperfect but him…**

**BlueberryMuffins76- Sweet! We shall probably see him again then… Thank you very much!**

**Evangeline Pond- Of couuuurrrrse I remember you XD Welcome to Life of Thranduil my friend! ^_^ Glad to see you here! Thank you so much!**

**EvenstarWarrior- Aw… too bad, they're awesome… Thanks!**

**Guest123- Awesome! No never the wine… thanks you for reviewing!**

**AND ALL MY FOLLOWERS AND FAVORITERS *BOW* THANK YOU.**

**Ok guys… I might actually start answering with PM's… O_O **

**17 reviews *faints***

**Until next time- **

**Rousdower out_**


	6. Part II: Chapter Two

**Part II- Procrastination**

**Chapter Two- In Which Thranduil is Still Avoiding Paperwork and Contemplates his Wardrobe for Some Meeting or Other**

Thranduil pressed himself against the pillar as he listened attentively to the hesitant footsteps of his advisor.

"King Thranduil?"

The footsteps advanced around the corner.

Thranduil began silently praying to whichever of the Valar was listening. The footsteps approached this hiding place and a bead of sweat slowly began trailing down Thranduil's face. '_No, no, no,'_ he silently plead as the sweat reached his chin.

The footsteps hesitantly continued past the pillar and Thranduil let out a silent sigh of relief and gratitude.

_Plip_.

The footsteps froze.

Thranduil almost passed out.

"My lord? What on Arda are you doing here?"

Thranduil looked to the side to see his advisor's head peeking at him from around the pillar. He thought fast.

"Ah, uh… Parman… I was merely getting some shade, it's rather warm isn't it?" Thranduil nervously fanned his neck with his hand.

Parman raised an eyebrow. "My lord… it's rather cool."

Thranduil raised an eyebrow. "Well, _I_ feel warm!"

His subject raised his hands in a placating manner. Thranduil, however, was not placated in the least, mainly because in Parman's left hand, a small stack of paperwork resided. Huffing and tugging his robes into order, Thranduil elegantly stated that he was going to the tailor's.

"But my lord, there are several documents you must look over and a letter from Lord Elrond!" Parman said, waving the papers under Thranduil's nose. Thranduil wrinkles said nose and sent a scathing glare at the poor ellon in front of him.

"I'm not feeling in the mood," he sniffed.

Parman visibly deflated. "But my lord… You have been putting most of these off for at least two weeks," he pled. Thranduil sneered down at the litte black haired elf.

"I have other things to attend to." Sweeping of down the hall, Thranduil waltzed to the tailor's shop, for he had an idea for a new robe he wished to wear to a meeting that was taking place in about three months. Something to do with Laketown.. he couldn't precisely remember. But really, the robe he had in mind would be _stunning_, with a light embroidery and a bronze hue to it. He'd probably wear a purple robe with it perhaps, and his bronze circlet… yes that sounded quite lovely. One of Thranduil's closely guarded secrets was that if he had not been born into royalty… he would most certainly have become a fashion designer.

As he neared the sewing rooms, he heard the pitter-patter of Advisor Parman's feet behind him. Feeling the sudden urge to hurl something at the poor elf's head. His left eye twitching, Thranduil finally barged into the spacious room. Sweeping his head imperiously from right to left and stilling the twitching of his eye,the Elvenking took in the vaguely surprised faces of the ellith and ellyn working at the looms, and sitting in the chairs with their needle and thread.

"Um, Lord Thranduil?"

Thranduil's left eye began twitching again and looks were exchanged between his subjects.

"Yes, _Parman_?" Thranduil gritted out.

"Perhaps when you are done, you could maybe look over these documents?" Parman asked timidly, weakly flapping the papers in front of his chest.

Thranduil inhaled deeply and stuck his nose into the air. "I shall ponder it."

Turning to the head weaver, he began to outline his designs.

Advisor Parman let his arms go limp and his head hang. Thranduil wondered why he bothered hiring the gimpy little elf. He was practically _useless_. Maybe he should fire him… Maybe… Maybe he should fire everyone! No. No that wasn't very logical.

Exactly how much mimosa did he have with breakfast again?

**A/N- Heeeeey remember me? The one who is writing the Thranduil story? You doooooo- ok no need for those rocks, you can put those down now I SAID YOU CAN PUT THEM DOWN!**

***cowers***

**I have been very busy for the past two weeks, what with the horse shows (two of them) and my cousin from WA visiting… *wipes sweat from brow***

**I shall honestly make more of an effort to update! I actually should probably put a poll on my profile to see what people want finished the most _besides_ this story. LOL. I know I've done this before… I'll probably put ideas for unwritten fics too if I remember to XD**

**Oh oh and one more thing. I have a ****tumblr**** now, if any of you are on there… I actually started a Life of Thranduil blog, which is very much like this story, but Thranduil is dictating it to me, so it's like mini letters from Thranduil XD if you know what I mean? I barely started it, all I have is an intro, which is kinda lame… I may rewrite it. LOL. I I will put the link on my profile. Anyways-**

**Thanks to- **

**Oriana5, Sixty-four K, Neon Wish, BlueberryMuffins76, TemariFire, KkGgINoU, Neril, Wenduo, steel gray, Wunderkind4006, Pip the Dark Lord of All, ccgaylord, EvenstarWarrior, Lily Lindsy-Aubrey, and all my followers and favoriters AND the guest that I shall reply to here-**

**Nelyo- Yep… there is a lot of sassay elfiness going on… Heheheheh Thanks for the review!**

**Ok guys, I'm tired now, so I'll go sleep, but first I shall say THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THIS STORY ALREADY HAS ALMOST EIGHTY REVIEWS?**

***faints***

**Galadriel: Join us next time where Thranduil takes rather _drastic_ measures to escape his paperwork, and considers having some vintage First Age Dorwinion with lunch.**

**Rousdower out_**


	7. Part II: Chapter Three

**Part II- Procrastination**

**Chapter Three- In Which Thranduil Gets a Sparkly Robe, Gives in to Parman, and Sends Legolas into Solitary Confinement**

Edging out of the tailor's rooms, Thranduil looked down each side of the passage. Clutching the sparkly new robe that he had acquired last minute to his chest, he started towards his chambers.

"My lord?"

"AGH!" Thranduil almost dropped his robe, but managed to snatch it before it hit the dirty ground. Making an imperceptible face at the floor, Thranduil looked up to find his butler, Galion, standing in front of him.

Sneering Thranduil gave him a look that clearly said, 'Well go ahead, what do you want?'

Galion faltered slightly before saying calmly, "My lord Thranduil, we were supposed to receive a list of approved wines today?"

Thranduil rolled his eyes. "Why?"

Galion resisted the urge to facepalm. "To send with the traders my lord? It is vital.." Galion trailed off and looked pointedly at the Elvenking. Thranduil had the vaguest of urges to whimper as he realized what this meant.

Sighing heavily, he began the trudge to his study. "Send Advisor Parman to the study immediately…"

"Of course, my lord." Galion bowed and walked away, a triumphant spring in his step. Parman had approached him earlier, requesting assistance with their procrastinating monarch, but what his king did not know, would not hurt him.

oOo

Thranduil banged his forehead into the mahogany of his desk repeatedly, before picking up the next paper in the pile. Parman had arrived about half an hour ago, with not one, but _two_ stacks of paperwork, and Thranduil was finding it very hard to resist the urge to go frolic with some butterflies or something.

Even frolicking with _beetles_ would be more enjoyable than paperwork.

Signing the paper with his usual flourish, Thranduil whipped it to the side and snatched the next one off the pile.

"Lothlorien… trees… blah, blah, blah," Thranduil groaned. "Boriiiiing." Signing his name once again he threw it to the side before banging his head on the desk once more.

"My l-lord _Thranduil, _why are the papers on the _floor_, oh you've made such a _mess!_" Parman panicked as he gathered all the papers up off the floor. "They were all _organized_ too! _And in alphabetical order!_" Parman looked near tears as he shuffled the papers into a neat pile.

"You get distressed far too easily," Thranduil growled, lifting his head off of the desk. "I am the _Elvenking_! If I want to throw _anything_ on the floor, even if it's a _flower_, I _will_ throw it on the floor."

Parman's lip wobbled slightly, but he said nary a word as he carefully placed the papers back on the desk. "Galion said your presence was requested in the throne room when you ar-"

"Perfect! I shall go there immediately!" Thranduil up and swept out of the room before Parman could even blink.

"-are finished…" Parman sighed and picked up the unfinished papers (about half of the original) and trailed after the Elvenking.

oOo

As Thranduil elegantly walked towards the throne room, he was suddenly accosted by the head cook's assistant.

"My lord! My lord! Lord Thranduil! Lo-"

"_Yes?!" _Thranduil hissed, hissed, wheeling upon the elf and giving him a venomous glare. Where was that Dorwinian when he needed it?

The assistant cook froze, closely resembling a frightened rabbit for an estimated time of six and three quarters of a second.

"Well?" Thranduil composed himself once more.

"Prince Legolas is eating the food meant for your excellencies dinner," the elf said, bowing low to the ground.

"Ugh," Thranduil rolled his eyes. "I _told _ him he was to stick to a diet… Send him to the throne room…"

When the cook had ran off, Thranduil started muttering to himself. "Little brat, never does what I tell him to… Won't wear his royal tunic, won't even consider fighting with a normal sword, consistently _insists_ on fraternizing with Elrond's Noldorian _spawn_, oh _why cruel world. _Iluvatar, what's next? A _dwarf?_" At that thought, he just barely restrained himself from throwing himself face first at the nearest pillar and sobbing hysterically.

"I CAN JUST SEE IT!" he wailed.

"See what?"

Thranduil realized he had walked right into the throne room without even noticing and Galion, Legolas, and some of his other advisors were staring at him curiously.

"Nothing, nothing… What is it?"

"Ahem, my lord, have you signed all of your paperwork?"

"That's all you wanted to know?" Thranduil steamed. "You could have just come to me! And no, I have not," he huffed, crossing his arms and staring down his nose.

"Envoys from Lothlorien, my lord, are to arrive here tomorrow, I thought you should know," Galion said tiredly. "And there are a few citizens with inquiries for you…"

Thranduil groaned. "Very well, bring them forward."

At that moment, Parman rushed in.

Legolas had the audacity to snigger in the background and Thranduil immediately whirled on him. "Solitary confinement, you delinquent!" Legolas was dragged away by the two nearest guards, vehemently protesting his fate.

There was a brief moment of silence, before Parman spoke up.

"My lord, you need to be aware that there are several very important documents in here that need to be signed at the soonest possible time!"

Thranduil straightened his robes. "Fine! Fine, fine, fine! Just stop hounding me, Eru!" he huffed. This was one of the rare occasions he lost part of his composure around his subjects. "I'll answer these peasants' questions and then I'll sign those foul papers."

Parman and Galion both resisted the urge to express their joy, instead wisely remaining stoic as Thranduil stomped up the dais and plopped onto his throne.

_What a horrible day,_ he groaned to himself as the first of the peasants began their drivel.

Cursed paperwork.

**Finis Pars Duo**

**A/N: **

**Uh…**

**Hey… guys… WOAH PUT THOSE ROCKS DOWN. PUT. THEM. DOWN. **

**NOW. *points***

**Ugh. So sorry for the month-long wait guys. I kinda put myself on unannounced hiatus… My health declined and my headaches had turned to migraines and I kinda lost steam… O_o**

**Buuut yeah… **

**Thanks to-**

**KKGgINoU, Evangeline Pond, BakaSaru6, Montara, Neril, BlueberryMuffins74, Sixty-four K, steelgray, Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, TemariFire, ccgaylord, Pip the Dark Lord of All, Jessicaelvenprincess and all my followers and favorites! **

**You guys are so awesome *cries***

***you may have noticed that Galadriel was wrong.. because I changed my mind last minute***

**Join us next time, when that paper from Lothlorien regarding trees comes back to bite everyone's favorite Elvenking in the butt.**

**Oh oh yeah… I shall be inserting various random oneshots throughout this story, when I can't find a good inspiration for a longer arc, just so you guys aren't like 'Wut' when I publish something like- "Thranduil on Fine Wines" or "Legolas Burns the Garden Down and Thranduil Gets Really Mad and Sends Him to Galadriel for Three Weeks"**

**Just so ya know… **

**Rousdower out_**


	8. Part III: Chapter One

**Part III- The Mallorn Debacle**

**Chapter One- In Which Rùmil is Slightly Traumatized, Galion is Further Frustrated, and Thranduil is Once Again Infuriated**

"My lord, Rùmil of Lothlorien is here to see you," Galion said, staring sternly at the lounging Elvenking.

"That little twerp?" Thranduil sighed heavily. "Very well, send him in. I'm sure if I don't talk to him that Galadriel will never be silent…"

Galion disappeared through the main doors and Thranduil rolled his eyes. Taking a lazy sip from his wine, he went over the list of reasons why he really should just kick 'Rùmil of Lothlorien' out of his forest. And so his inner monologue began;

_Reason #1: He's from Lothlorien.. Need anymore be said?_

_Reason #2: I believe he's related to that stuck up Marchwarden,.. whatshisname… Haldir? Eru I _hate_ him!_

_Reason #3: Galadriel has most assuredly sent him, which means he's up to no good whatsoever. In fact I should probably have somebody tail him while he's here…_

Thranduil's trail of thought came to abrupt halt when Galion once more appeared, this time with another elf in tow.

"Rùmil of Lothlorien to see his majest, Thranduil, Elvenking of the Greenwood!" Galion bowed and stepped to the side. Rùmil himself bowed low with a polite smile, and Thranduil narrowed his eyes at him mistrustfully.

"Speak your business, Rùmil of Lothlorien. I have many things to do today, all of them far more important than yourself," Thranduil called, his tone haughty, and his overall demeanor exuding violent boredom.

Galion rolled his eyes in the shadows, knowing full well that Thranduil had absolutely nothing on his schedule, and even if he did, the butler was sure his master was absolutely not planning on accomplishing any of it.

Rùmil, to his credit, looked only slightly offended as he cleared his throat and began his speech; "My Lord Thranduil, I thank you for granting me audience. A few weeks back we sent you a document, pertaining to the transplanting of one of our beloved _mallorn _trees into your forest-"

"WHAT?"

Rùmil cowered slightly and the palm Galion's hand suddenly became well-acquainted with his forehead.

"I DO NOT RECALL THIS!" Thranduil stood up abruptly, flinging his beautiful robe onto his throne and all but jumping off of his throne.

"GALION!"

The butler shuffled forwards and attempted not to roll his eyes.

"WHEN DID THIS OCCUR?" Thranduil majestically yelled, royal outrage apparent in his expression.

"My lord, I believe you did indeed sign such a document-"

"I REFUSE TO BELIEVE SUCH A THING!"

Thranduil began to pace and tug his hair. After several minutes of the grueling activity, Thranduil turned and shot an intense glare at the frightened Galadhrim.

"You will be sent to the dungeons until further proof is unearthed," the Elvenking snarled.

Poor Rùmil was beyond confused. His weak attempts at protests were silenced by the guards dragging him away into the depths of the palace.

"Galion! Call Parman! I insist we disprove these outrageous claims!" Thranduil abruptly realized he was tugging his hair and barely held in a shriek of horror. "AND BRING ME A BRUSH!" he yelled after the retreating back of his butler.

"Planting _mallorn_ trees in _my_ forest," he snarled to himself. "As _if!_"

**A/N:Heeeey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in ages D: a lot of stuff has been going on!**

**AND OMAEOIRHPFNOGIAH[OIDJFN 103 REVIEWS GUYS THAT'S SO AWESOME WHAT THE HECK HOW IS THIS THAT POPULAR I MEAN ASDFGHJKL IUFHAPWOIERJ WUUUUUT HOLY COW *passes out* THANK YOU I REALLY MEAN IT JUST WOW O_O \\(*o*)/ I can now die in peace...**

**I went on a three mile benefit walk and cleaned ten horse stalls today so I'm rather brain dead right now XD Uuuum.. there is a poll regarding my stories, i you would please vote :) I think so far that it shall happen, but just seeing if I get any more opinions LOL!**

**I can't remember if I PM'd any of you or not for the Thank you's so I'm just going to do a shoutout! (I'm that tired D: it's pathetic)**

**Thank you so much to- Sixty-four K, TemariFire, Wunderkind4006, steelgray, Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, KkGgINoU, Neril, Pip the Dark Lord of All, ccgaylord, MostEvilIceQueen and all my followers and favoriters! I WILL PM YOU TOMMORROOOOOOW GUYS! **

**I hope you guys like this latest installment, please leave a review and I'll see you tomorrow perhaps for the next installment of Fellowship of Fabulousness (possibility of an update is high! )!**

**Rousdower out_**


	9. Part III: Chapter Two

**Part III- The Mallorn Debacle**

**Chapter Two- In Which Thranduil Finds a Way to Lesson the Blow, Galion is Unimpressed, and Rùmil is Released**

Thranduil rubbed his forehead dramatically.

"Have they returned yet?" he asked his butler, who was dozing off in a corner, carefully balancing a platter in one hand and an extra bottle of wine in the other. Galion subtly rolled his eyes.

"No, my lord, we will be notified as soon as he returns. Now why don't you relax and look over that paperwork Parman sent you," Galion said, pouring Thranduil another glass of wine.

"But _Galion_," Thranduil whined. "Mallorn trees in _my _forest! It's unthinkable! Unbelievable! How could Galadriel ever think I would agree!"

"Well, you've already signed the document, my lord, I highly doubt you'll find a way out of this one," Galion sighed, returning to his post. Thranduil grumbled sullenly, absently shuffling the papers around his desk, not really looking at any of them.

A few moments later, a knock was heard on the door, and it carefully slid open a crack and and a head nervously poked around the edge of it, staring warily at the king.

"Ah, Wilin, do you bring news?" Thranduil said, perking up slightly.

"Yes, my lord," Wilin said quietly.

"What was that?" Thranduil leaned forward. "Speak up!"

"Uh, um… Yes, my lord!" Wilin said, marginally louder as he edged into the room. "Arntel returned from Lothlorien, he gave me this…" Wilin shakily held out his hand, in which a letter was grasped.

Galion took it from the poor elf and Wilin was dismissed. He wobbled out the door, closing it as quietly as possible.

"Read it to me," Thranduil said, waving his hand at Galion. Galion muttered something unintelligible under his breath as he unfolded the piece of paper.

_"__To the Illustrious King of the Greenwood, Thranduil,_

_Greetings,_

_It has come to our attention that you unknowingly signed a document regarding the planting of our beloved mallorn trees in your forest. Unfortunately there is know way for us to reverse this, as it is an official document sent out by the Lady Galadriel herself. Your compliance is mandatory. We also must request that you release warden Rùmil from your dungeons, as he had no knowing part in this. His brothers are very concerned for his health. Enclosed is a copy of the document._

_sincerely, _

_Calasámo of Lothlorien, on behalf of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn of Lothlorien."_

Thranduil twitched slightly. Holding out his hand Thranduil didn't move his eyes away from the desk until he felt the weight of the paper in his palm. Snapping it in front of his face, he quickly read the terms of the document.

"Planting of tree or trees in… AHA!"

Galion jumped, nearly spilling wine all over Thranduil's purple robes. With a deep breath, Galion stepped back, shakily placing the pitcher onto the desk.

"Have you found something, my lord?"

"Yes, oh yes," Thranduil laughed, placing the paper back onto the table. "'Tree or trees'. We only have to plant one, and I believe…" He picked up the paper again, reading for a few more minutes. "Yes! I also get to chose where it is placed…"

Galion sighed.

"Well, I suppose you can release the urchin from his cell… I have some planning to do…" Thranduil chuckled evilly.

Subtly rolling his eyes once more (I'm sure you've noticed that Galion is a master of subtlety), Galion trudged out the door.

"Bring me some more wine too! One of the newer vintages!"

"Yes, my lord," Galion muttered. Making his way down to the dungeons, he took the keys from the guard and descended toward Rùmil's cell.

Poor Rùmil was curled up in a ball, looking very lonely and still looking horribly confused. "Galion?"

"You can leave now. I'm very sorry for your inconvenience," Galion said dully, opening the door.

"…Inconvenience?" Rùmil whispered, looking very shaken.

"Yes, yes, an understatement I am well aware of," Galion sighed, leading the poor elf back towards civilization.

As Rùmil got on his horse, ready for his journey back home, he vowed to himself, never to ever go to the Greenwood again.

Ever.

**A/N: Have I really not updated this since September? D: I'M SO SORRY GUYS D: I totally didn't realize! I've been so busy, i started fencing, and a big equestrian team, we had our first show this weekend in fact. I was sick *grumble* I didn't place in the first two, but I got fourth in the third one so yaaaay! Now to qualify for regionals I need to get two first places in the next show in February… Yeah... I don't think that's gonna happen haha.**

**ALSO! Some of you might have recognized a few names here? Maybe? Wilin is that drunk elf from part one and Arntel is Carl's real name. In case you didn't know, Carl is one of my most beloved OCs from A Second Chance! **

**ANYWAYS! Go check out my poll, if you read a lot of my other stories… IT has to do with music :) I'll try to get a new chapter out soon! Next on my list to update is Fellowship of Fabulousness!**

**Thank you to- **

**Pip the Dark Lord of All, KkGgINoU, Ellie Grant, Elleth of Mossflower, Neril, Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, and Sixty-Four K**

**ALSO THANKS TO MY FOLLOWERS AND FAVORITERS! YOU GUYS ROCK!**

**Kam- I'm sure you will! I plan on inserting a bunch of oneshots in here, and I think that may be one of them!**

**Ok guys! See you next time XD**

**Overlord Rousdower out_**


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